


With Bared Teeth

by Das_Hazel (mikuridaigo)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha Kinkade, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fingerfucking, Heats, M/M, Minor Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Mutual Pining, Omega James, Slow Burn, alpha/beta/omega world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 13:20:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16409294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikuridaigo/pseuds/Das_Hazel
Summary: James Griffin has never worked harder in his life to get to where he is. A full scholarship with the Galaxy Garrison, number 1 in all his classes (saved for Kogane winning Captain Shirogane's eyes), and on the right track to become an MFE pilot.Then he finds out he's an omega. And Omegas aren't pilots, they're subservient to their alphas. So James does everything to hide his second gender.Too bad he has the hots for his alpha roommate, Ryan Kinkade.--a GriffKink ABO fic.





	With Bared Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Never in my life did I think I'd write an ABO fic and yet here we are. Also James and Ryan deserve to have more attention like wtf they need more fics. 
> 
> Un-beta'd. If there are major errors please point them out so I may fix it.

James can feel there’s something wrong the second he enters the gym. His palms are sweaty, throat tightening, and his head spinning. It’s everyone’s scent… it’s overpowering. He can sense the cadet with a headband quaking with nervousness, while his friend soothes him. James smells both emotions, which stirs his head in an unpleasant manner. Usually he couldn’t sense his classmate’s pheromones to this extent, which only means ‘puberty’ is finally hitting him. At eighteen years old, a late bloomer, he’s finally showing that he’s an alpha.

James winces when the cadet whines, because his nerves start affecting James too. He wants to snipe at the beta, and tell him to keep it under control until a twinge in his stomach distracts him instead. He puts his hand over it, applying a bit of pressure for it to stop.

“Hey, you okay?”

His actions are noticed right away with his roommate, Ryan Kinkade. They’ve only known each other for a month, meeting at welcome week when they found out they were assigned roommates, but they were a perfect match. Similar habits of cleanliness, helping each other with homework, and the same class schedule.They’ve never fought over their space, and the two were mature enough to have an open discussion if a problem did arise.

But Ryan was the textbook definition of an alpha-- tall, handsome, a smoldering gaze that make betas and omegas fall to their knees, and alphas quiver in fear. The dorm coordinator was hesitant letting James, who wasn’t presenting at the time, room with such a dominating alpha, but so far there have been no issues.

Ryan never intentionally, or accidentally as much as he can help it, makes himself a terrifying alpha presence, meaning he shares his space equally with James. So far he’s never overstepped his boundaries with James, but that doesn’t mean he can’t sense something is wrong.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Ryan raises an eyebrow, clearly seeing through his lie but doesn’t ask further, because their PT Captain, Montgomery, walks in. She passes a quick glance over the cadets before announcing today’s regime. Stretches, sets of push ups and crunches, an obstacle course with a wall climb, and finally a timed mile run. A standard PT day.

All should be easy for James, not just because they’ve been doing this for a month, but he also took track and field all throughout high school and martial arts in his spare time. But his arms quiver each time he pushes himself up, and he just wants to stay curled with every crunch. He pushes through, ignoring how he’s profusely sweating with an activity he does every morning.

He feels Ryan staring at him, his alpha pheromones exuding some kind of protective scent. “Dude.” James hisses. “I’m fine.”

The smell no longer prominent, and Ryan frowns like a scolded puppy, but he nods and lets James sweat.

It’s not until they get to the wall climb that James realizes he can’t get a good grip on the rope. There’s a line behind him, growing impatient that he’s not yet up the wall. Their PT coach is looking at him with concern. If he can’t do this he’d be disqualified for the flight program, the only reason he applied to the Garrison in the first place.

Taking a deep breath, he grips on the rope and pulls himself up. His muscles strain, and he’s out of breath just halfway up. The rope below him tugs, indicating someone else is right behind him. James pushes until he reaches the top, and now it’s just a quick drop down.

Once he’s over the wall, he holds tightly onto the rope as he slowly makes his way down. The person behind him (oh, of _course_ it’s Kogane behind him) just makes it over as well, annoyed that James isn’t off yet. A stabbing pain hits his stomach, twisting his insides till it became unbearable. He lets go of the rope and falls on his back.  

The pain spikes up but he’s more concerned for his stomach. He curls up, trying to stop the tears from falling when someone scoops him into his arms. There’s a slight sense of relief, like a protective atmosphere guaranteeing he’ll be okay.

He hears someone talk, most likely Montgomery, and after a moment he’s out of the gym. James slightly opens his eyes to finally see he’s being carried by Ryan.

“Ry…?”

“I got you.” He reassures, and James just hums as an answer.

He doesn’t fall asleep, but he isn’t totally aware of his surroundings for the next hour. They’re inside, then outside, then inside again. There’s chatter all around him, but his ears ring, and everyone sounds like they’re submerged under water.

Then his moms are by his side, one of them holding his hand and the other stroking the bangs out of his eyes. A doctor is on his other side, checking his vitals.

And that’s when the doctor drops the news.

“An… omega?”

“Yes, what you’ve experienced was a pseudo heat.” He says, his tone gentle. “It’s a common trait that shows your secondary gender. Luckily this type of heat passes quickly. It will take a while for your cycle to regulate, so be wary your next heat may come in the next few month...”

He stops listening to the doctor, because it doesn't even matter now. Once the Garrison finds out he’s an omega they’ll remove him from the command track. His only chance at success will be with Captain Shirogane, but he’s already taking Kogane as his protege and… and---

“Suppressants.” He asks, interrupting the doctor. “Can I take suppressants?”

“James…” His mom says, but he shakes his head.

“Please, I need it. I can’t skip class--have a strict attendance policy--” They can’t know.

He’ll be breaking all sorts of regulations by not revealing his secondary gender, risking expulsion even. But he can do it. Up until now everyone thought he was going to be an alpha, just like his moms, he can keep up the facade. So long as he’s top of his class, no one will suspect a thing.

The doctor nods. “I can prescribe you for the next year. Just remember to take them once a week at the exact same time otherwise your hormones will be all over the place.”

When the doctor leaves for the prescription, James lets his head fall into his hands and he sobs. His mothers hold him, holding him tightly and let him cry it out.

Suddenly, all commercials and motivational speeches, that say being an omega doesn’t change anything, that omegas are just as successful as their beta and alpha counterparts, feel like lies. He’ll have to take extra precautions with who he hangs out with, and work three times as hard than the alphas to even be considered a pilot.

God, if he doesn’t graduate as a pilot, then everything will be for nothing.

The doctor returns with the pills and instructions, and after wiping his eyes they leave the hospital.

And find Ryan, waiting patiently just outside.

“What are you doing here?” He bites.

He notices how Ryan raises an eyebrow at his tone. James doesn’t mean to be harsh, he’s really just tired, and didn’t expect anyone else besides his parents to be with him.

“Thought you could use some company on the way back to campus. It’s a long bus ride.”

As nice as the gesture is, James still feels irritated, because Ryan is an alpha so he must think it’s his duty to protect an omega.

“We can give you a ride.” His mom says. “It’ll be more comfortable that way.”

“Thank you Mrs. Griffin.” Ryan says, and of course he’s super polite to his omega roommates parents.

A bus ride would have taken an hour, but by car it was only thirty minutes. Ryan is quiet the entire way, up until he thanks his parents for the ride.

When they return to their dorm, Ryan offers to order some take out. “You don’t have to take care of me.” James snaps.

“You’re paying for half.” Ryan says, unaffected by his tone.

“Oh…” James says. “Right, of course.”

Ryan goes through his phone, picking a cheap dumpling take out menu. “What did the doctor say? Was it the flu? Because Nadia had that last week.”

James whips his head in Ryan’s direction. “Oh, uh, yeah food poisoning. Must be the mess hall crap.”

“You sure you’re good to eat tonight then?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves him off. “I actually threw up in the hospital so I’m hungry again.”

So, Ryan doesn’t know. And with suppressants, the dorms won’t force them to change, because his heats won’t set Ryan off to a vicious rut.

After that long day he feels like he could finally breathe. Okay, he can make this work.

 

Until next day in class when Kogane takes one look at him and wrinkles his nose in disgust.

“What?” James confronts.

“Sorry but you just smell... weird…”

James feels his face flush with embarrassment. “Yeah? You’re one to talk--”

“Food poisoning.” Ryan interrupts. “Got sick. Your freaky alpha nose must be smelling that.”

At that, Kogane just scoffs. “You’re an alpha too, that smell isn’t bothering you?”

Ryan shrugs. “We live together, I’m used to it.”

Just as class begins James gives him a silent thank you. Ryan acknowledges it and focuses on the board.

Only James knows it’s not ‘food poisoning’.

He skips out on his friends, asking to hand out at the cafe for homework, and rushes back to his dorm room to check out his medication. Suppressants, they were supposed to suppress any omega pheromones and mask him.

Except that’s not what he was prescribed.

They were heat suppressants only, and written in a font size smaller than his name says ‘does not mask pheromones.’

Goddamnit.

James runs to the drug store and picks up an over the counter masking pill. He barely listens to the pharmacist reciting the drug’s side effects and shoves his emergency allowance to them. Once he’s outside he swallows one dry, and hopes for the best.

* * *

“Hey, do I smell funny?” James asks when he’s out of the shower.

Ryan turns around from his desk and takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Stop using axe body wash, that shit stinks.”

James stuck his tongue out at him. “Ha-ha. No I mean do I still smell sick?”

Ryan shakes his head. “Nah, you’re good.”

* * *

More than good really, he feels great.

Academy life continues on. He’s still somehow second to Kogane but he’s acing every physical and written test thrown at him, even beating Ryan’s score in hand-to-hand combat. The lieutenants were impressed by his case study on the Atlas and Voltron, and omegas and betas left and right were throwing themselves on him.

Nadia and Ina, an Alpha and Beta, end up being the messengers to shy omegas, asking them to give James a cute courting gift. “I’m going to start charging you Griffin.” Nadia laughs when she eats a pack of chocolates meant for him. James lets her have it, seeing she has to go out of her way to even tell him he’s gotten a new gift.

James usually feeds off the high praises and heart eyes his classmates give him for his accomplishment. It’s what made him sure he was going to present as an alpha all throughout high school. Now that he’s receiving them again, he just sheepishly smiles, thanks them for their compliments, and rejects any romantic advancements.

It’s the guilt of lying. It’s how he holds himself he’s acting like the protective alpha that betas and omegas want. And he would give that, even if he is an omega.

Both his moms are alphas, and he’s seen omegas and betas date each other too. But the difference was his moms were truthful to each other, and he could only guess so were other couples.

James is still lying to the academy, to his own roommate, of his second gender because he can’t have it hold himself back. And what kind of message is that, to tell the other omegas that they have to hide their second gender?

It isn’t that omegas are unwanted in the Garrison, and despite Omega and Beta equality with Alphas, a scientific military institution preferred alphas especially for the flight and command track. Alphas were natural leaders, so of course they are favored for dangerous expeditions.

Shirogane proved them wrong, breaking all flight records possible and graduating with the highest GPA. He’s taken on proteges who have left the Garrison with their own ships to lead. Which there lied his main problem.

There was a part of him, that day in the hospital, that hoped he could talk to Shirogane about this, to have an Omega as his mentor and push him through the Garrison so that they won’t remove him from his command course. But despite the highest grades in his basic courses, Shirogane has seem to have his eyes on Kogane instead. The annoying, pouty alpha was his classmate from middle to high school, and he did nothing but cause trouble by defying their teachers. He also never controlled his pheromones too well so he walked around with an alpha scent meant to intimidate anyone who stands in his way. It was annoying, really, but Shirogane seems to like it.

It means he can’t talk to Shirogane, because he’s already training Kogane. It means he’s alone, and he still has to hide.

So James rejects any romantic endeavours, and on an instinctual level, he knows he’s causing those omegas pain with a rejection, as if telling them they’re not good enough for an alpha like him. He says he just wants to focus on class, which is true, even if he starts earning the title as an alpha-heartbreaker.

Ryan shares that title too.

His roommate never mentions it, but James as seen him reject a few omegas. The look Ryan gives when he does is something he rarely sees-- guilt and remorse. Which, at the end of the day, no one should feel guilty for rejecting advances when they’re not interested.

Maybe it’s because an alpha’s instinct is to protect, make their partner happy. An alpha leaving an omega to cry is definitely seen as a huge shame on an alpha’s character, and it gets to the point where their classmates start ignoring Ryan.

Even after rejecting them, James still offers to hang out as friends. He’s a naturally social person, and he likes being around people, even if they don’t necessarily say yes, it’s a nice open gesture to friendship. Ryan, on the other hand, is the textbook definition of an introvert, and James can see his perspective, why hang out with someone you just rejected?  

It gets to the point groups of betas and omegas start giving Ryan the stink eye. In pacts, omegas release protective pheromones that to stray alphas away. Even under the suppressants James can feel himself drawn to that group, to be with his own kind and their warmth.

But Ryan reacts negatively, flinching as they walk past him and turning the other cheek. He knows he’s not wanted, and for the stoic front puts up, James can see how much he’s hurting from not being liked.

The next time a group of salty omegas gives him the ‘stay away’ vibe, James latches himself closer to Ryan, and returns the angry eyes, almost challenging them. The omegas seem confused by his response, because an alpha initiating a fight with an omega is also frowned upon, but after a while they stop their pack mentality on Ryan.

“Um, thanks, by the way.” Ryan says a few days after James wards off any angry omegas. Ryan’s sitting as his desk, working on his essay.

“They shouldn’t treat you like that.” James replies. He’s lying on his bed, reading Iverson’s assigned texts. “A rejection is a rejection, no matter what our second genders say.”

“Still, thank you. I do feel bad but I can’t lead them astray, you know?”

Oh yeah, he definitely knows. James places the textbook on his chest and stares at the ceiling. “Is there anyone you’re interested in?”  When Ryan doesn’t answer, James turns to him, and he can see his ears turn red. “Ohhh, you are! Who are they? Is it Veronica? I know she’s a professor but I mean, she’s cute.”

Ryan balls up a piece of paper and throws it at James, who just laughs. “Not her you dunce. Yeah, I like someone.”

“And….?”

“And that’s it. Not sure if they’re interested in a relationship.”

“With you?”

“With anyone.”

James mentally goes down a list of people they mutually know, and only a few names pop up. Ina Leifsdottir is the closest person who fits that, since she’s never expressed interest in anyone either. Though, James isn’t sure if Ryan was interested in her anyway.  

“Ouch, sorry dude.”

Ryan shrugs. “It’s not a big deal, I rather just focus on class you know?”

“Heh, yeah I feel you there.” He pauses for a moment. “Seriously though, if you need a wingman, or need help rejecting people, I’m your guy.”

Ryan gives him a smile. “Thanks dude.”

“Anytime.”    

James has always labeled them as roommates, but now, now he knows it’s something more.

* * *

The first year goes passes with flying colors. He’s advanced to a higher level of courses, meaning he’ll be taking third year classes in just his second year. Lucky for him, so is Ryan, Nadia, and Ina, and because some higher being loves cursing him, so is Kogane.

Whatever, after a month and a half of summer vacation he’ll be in Shirogane’s honors flight course, where they’ll move from the simulators to the real thing.

“Looks like you’re still stuck with me.” James says teasingly when he and Ryan look over their schedules.

Ryan snorts. “Oh no, guess I’ll take lower division classes to get away from you.”

James throws a pillow at him. “Jerk. But seriously… are you cool still being roommates for the next year?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? Besides, summer is so short, moving our stuff in and out would just be a hassle.”

First and second year students were required to stay on campus, while third and fourth years were kicked off to make room for the new students. Underclassmen still had the opportunity to switch rooms at the end of the year, and honestly, James hoped he could still be with Ryan. He has yet to comment that he doesn’t “smell” like other alphas, and he genuinely loves being around him.

“Just making sure, you’d practically see me 24/7.”

Ryan gives him a warm smile. “Not a problem for me.”

They clean up as best they can just before their last classes. They take just enough clothes for home, and when the room feels spotless enough they say their temporary goodbyes for summer.

James only lives an hour away from the base, but Ryan is further north, almost a three hour drive.

When James gets home, his moms take him on a small trip to a waterpark as a welcome home celebration, and after friends also on summer vacation blew up his phone to hang out.

None of his friends, who all showed their second gender during high school, comment that they don’t smell James. He tells them he’s been taking suppressants, a requirement of the Garrison so alphas don’t affect each other’s territorial nature. And they buy it, which brings a pang of guilt in his heart.

Only his mom’s inquire how he’s feeling since his suppressants. At least with them he can tell the truth and say they’re working, even if it’s still a small lie since he hasn’t told them about the masking pill. He loves his parents, but he can’t show how ashamed he is for his second gender.

His friends started to be in relationships, too, either with each other or someone they met in their own college. That, of course, begs the question why James is still single.

“Eh, strict dating policy at the Garrison.” He lies again, “Classes are a lot anyway, I just go to class and fall asleep.”

He’s honestly happy for all his friends for finding someone, until most of their hangouts start turning into third, or fifth wheeling. Then it just becomes annoying watching his friends nuzzle into their significant other’s neck, or having someone growl at him because he accidentally rubbed shoulders with his friend while walking a narrow sidewalk.

It’s a Wednesday, only has three weeks left of summer when he really starts missing the Garrison. There he had structure, and friends with clearer boundaries. He wonders what Nadia is up to, or what Ina does for fun when she’s not calculating pi in her head.

James wonders what Ryan’s doing too. He realizes that they haven’t actually texted since vacation as started, though he can only assume he’s busy with his own family. So one day, after waking up at noon, James decides to send him a snapchat. He’s shirtless in his picture, because fuck the Arizona heat, with a caption reading _“bruuuh im bored. Miss u. :p_ ”

Ryan’s reply is immediate.

It’s only his forehead, but behind him looks to be a family barbeque. “ _Why are u shirtless? Miss u too.”_

James switches over to text. _Because it’s hot as balls. U don’t feel it?_

Ryan sends a picture of his swimming pool. _Nope :P_

_I’m jealous, invite me over._

_Ok. Come over._

_Srsly?_

_Yeah. I know it’s a bit of a ride but train it’s only 1hr? Lemme know. Pool is nice and cool._

James looks up train tickets and times, and it’s not a bad price.

_What if I wanna stay the weekend?_

_Then stay._

“Huh. Ma?” James jumps out of bed and runs downstairs. “Ryan invited me to his house for the weekend.”

His ma, who’s probably filing taxes in her office just yells. “Sure! Make sure you bring something for the house. Also I’ll need his phone number just in case anything happens.”

“Thanks!”  

_Dude, I’ll see you this weekend._

_Awesome. Don’t melt before then._

Friday can’t come faster for James. He occupies his Thursday by doing laundry and finishing his summer textbook readings, but when he finishes both he stares at the clock immensely, waiting for it to turn to the next day. His mom mentions she’s never seen him this excited since his acceptance into the Garrison, but she’s happy he’s found someone.

_“Mom_ he’s not my boyfriend.”

“I didn’t say that.” She teases. “But after he took you to the hospital, I’m just glad he’s looking after you.”

Part of him wants to take that as an insult. Just because he’s an omega doesn’t mean he needs anyone to watch over him-- but he’s sure that’s not what she means at all, so he bites his lip. The thing, too, is that he’s glad Ryan’s this open with him. Living with him would be awkward otherwise, so knowing his presence is wanted is nice.

“Yeah, he’s cool.”

The day he leaves James picks up a cake from a bakery right by the train station. He holds it close to him as he boards, and keeps it steady in his lap when other train goers walk past him. At some point he has to give a warning growl to some big, bulky alpha who obviously doesn't care about anyone’s personal space.

The alpha just scoffs at his warning. “Aw, little alpha guarding his territory.” The alpha takes a long whiff of him, and then frowns. “Hm, not an alpha. A beta perhaps? Or maybe--

_Next stop, Holbrook._

James stands up the second the train stops. The alpha raises an eyebrow. “My stop.”

Everyone can feel the tension in the train as they watch James and this rando alpha standoff. Soon the alpha shrugs and steps out of the way, giving James room to finally leave the platform.

Waiting for him is Ryan, who waves the second he sees James. James smiles at him and runs over, though he can’t shake the alpha’s stare.

Ryan seemed to notice too, because he makes eye contact with the alpha and frowns. “Asshole giving you trouble?”

“Yeah, we were just fighting over the seat.”

“Hm,” Ryan hums. “Can I help you with anything?”

His arms are a little sore from carrying the cake, but he shakes his head. “Nah, I’m good.”

They walk out to the parking lot, and he expects to see one of Ryan’s parents waiting by a car. Instead Ryan takes out his car keys and points him to his car.

“You could drive? This whole time?!”

“Uh, yeah. What, you’re training for a pilot’s license but you don’t have a driver’s one?”

James flushes in embarrassment. “I live in the city, cars are kinda useless.” Okay, so he never got his license because his moms used both cars. It wasn’t too much of a big deal for him anyway, because the bus was just easier and cheaper. “Why don’t you bring this to the Garrison? We could easily go out more.”

“It’s my sister’s now.” He says, “She drives to school.”

Ryan is one of the steadiest pilots, at least according to the simulation, and that shows with his driving. He’s cautious but also forceful when necessary. At some point the car in front of them stops suddenly, and when breaking hard he reaches his hand out to push James back into his seat.

“Sorry, force of habit.” He says right after. “Used the drive my sister a lot.”

James doesn’t say anything, because he’s afraid of what’s going to come out. Hey Ryan, your hand felt nice on my chest please do that again.

Where the hell did that thought come from?

They’ve touched before, especially in hand to hand combat. And yeah he’s noticed his walking prime beef of an alpha roommate-- it’s no secret Ryan is probably one of the most universally handsome guys walking on the earth-- but he’s never had a different thought on his roommate’s aesthetic features until now.

Oh god, Ryan invited him to the pool too.

They make it to Ryan’s house, and his parents, two fathers both betas, greet him with warm welcomes. They seem to be more than happy James brought a cake and offer up the house to him.

Ryan’s sister, Kimberly, takes one long look at him and promptly says. “He’s cute. I want him.”

As far as James can tell she’s not showing her second gender, but he swears he sees a vein pop in Ryan. “Don’t you have like, two girlfriends and a boytoy?”

She sticks her tongue out at him. “If you don’t get him I will~”

“Ignore her.” Ryan says. “She’s… eccentric.”

“I like her.” He teases, which only seems to disturb Ryan.

“I swear if you two get along…”

“Oh, that only makes me want to be her friend more. How much can we tease you.”

“Don’t worry, we got that under control,” One of his dads says, “Here, I saved pictures from when Ryan was a baby--”

“Okay James let’s put your stuff in my room!” His dads laugh as Ryan practically drags him upstairs.

“Aw, your family’s nice.” James says once they’re alone.

“They were supposed to go out today.” Ryan sighs.

“I don’t mind. I kind of invited myself here anyway.”

Ryan shrugs. “I wanted you here.” _Oh,_ James tries not to blush at the comment. “Come on, I want to swim already.”

The pool is bigger in person, and has a deep end of 7 feet. “ _Dude_. You’ve been holding out on me all summer!”

“You didn’t ask till now.” Ryan says, tossing him the sunscreen. “Can’t have ur skin blister under this heat.”

“Yeah, yeah I know the drill _mom_.”  For that Ryan dips his hand into the pool and splashes him. “Oh dude, it’s on.”

Ryan jumps into the pool before James can push him in, but throwing the sunscreen aside, James just jumps in right after him. It devolves to a splash war between the two, and ending when Ryan is able to overpower and dunk his head into the water.

James emerges laughing so hard he has to hold his stomach, and then Kimberly shouts from her window for the two to keep it down.

They swim leisurely for another hour, before James feels the consequences of not putting on sunscreen before their water war. His pale skin is pink and red and starting to blister, and he sees Ryan holding in a laugh when he takes a good look at him.

“Don’t say--”

“I wasn’t.”

“But you want to.”

Ryan tires not to snort. “Yeah, yeah I’m gonna say it. I told you so.”

 

“Your moms' aren't going to kill us when her son comes home all blistered, is she?” Ryan’s pa jokes. James lies on Ryan’s bed, on his stomach as Ryan’s pa runs a healing regenerator over his body. The regenerator repairs outer wounds, and household ones are commonly used for scrapes cuts.

“Nah, I’ll tell her I forgot. Won’t be the first time.”

“Well, guess you two are staying in doors for the rest of the weekend.”

James sighs at that. He actually wanted to explore the town with Ryan, but at this rate he can’t sit properly without it stinging.

“And that should do it, but you’ll need some aloe on that.”

“I got it.” Ryan tells his pa, and with that he closes the door, leaving the two alone.

“I can put it on.” James says.

“On your back?”

“...I mean I can technically reach.”

“Just let me do it. It’ll heal faster anyway.”

“Fine.” James pouts. He buries his face in his arms. He tries to ignore the popping noise of the aloe bottle, but then jumps when a cool hand makes contact with his back.

“Sorry, too cold?”

“Y _eah.”_

“Good, means it’s working.”

God this is embarrassing. Ryan’s hands are somehow firm yet gentle at the same time, running up and down his body. He wants to keep his hands on him all the damn time. There’s a part of him that feels triumphant, because Ryan’s rejected all others who have proposed to him, so now James is the only one who gets to feel this. Anyone would be jealous in his position.

He sighs, remembering that Ryan still doesn’t know his second gender, and therefore has no idea what kind of affect he’s having. If anything it’s just one bro helping out another bro.

Huh, bromance. That’s what James will say to tell himself not to get his hopes up.

“Okay, you’re good. Let that dry out for a bit then you can do your front.” Ryan says, putting the bottle by his nightstand. “And since you’re a bit immobile, want me to put on a movie?”

“Yes please. Alien vs Predator.” James demands.

“Dude, that movie’s old as hell.”

“So? It’s dumb and awesome. Come on.”

Dumb and awesome indeed. The acting sucks, the plot makes zero sense to the previous franchises, but he _loves_ every moment of it. Even Ryan gets really into it, and at the end of the movie they put on AVP2, which is two times worse than the first and they laugh all the same.

When they start to get tired, Ryan tells him to take his bed, since he’s already on it covered in aloe. James apologizes and reassures by tomorrow he’ll be on the air mattress.

The air mattress is next to the bed, and if was just a bit taller they’d almost be sleeping next to each other. Ryan’s bed is technically big enough to fit two people, but with Ryan’s size it would be a tight squeeze.

Ryan falls asleep first, and after almost a year of living together James should be used to his light snoring. This time, it just feels much closer. James lies on his side, facing Ryan if the bed was slightly more elevated. He’s never realized how peaceful he looks when asleep. The stoic, cold-like face isn’t there at all. James likes both though, the gentle and the stoic. It’s what makes Ryan, Ryan.

James falls asleep fast, and wakes up more well rested than ever.

* * *

Their weekend flies.

He feels better the next morning, and James annoyingly insists on going out, so after breakfast Ryan gives in.

Unlike Tucson, Holbrook is a small community with quaint jewelry shops and mom and pop cafes. Ryan puts up with James’s touristy behavior, taking selfies with him at any given moment, and even stopping Ryan from eating his ice cream so James can get an aesthetically nice photo.

A movie and then dinner at Ryan’s favorite restaurant, they return to his house and stay up playing video games till almost three in the morning. James playfully shoves Ryan so he can have the advantage in Mario Cart, and if Ryan let him win a few rounds, well fine by him it’s just a friendly game anyway.

They catch a few hours of sleep before James has to catch his train later that afternoon. As promised James takes the air mattress, but doesn’t admit, when they wake up, that he slept much better on Ryan’s bed. It was as close to Ryan’s scent as he’ll ever get.

At this point there’s no denying it. He _likes_ Ryan.

It’s too bad Ryan has eyes for someone else.

So like a good person, he won’t push. Instead he’ll repress his feelings until he gets over it. Because that’s the healthy thing to do.

* * *

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home?” Ryan asks. “That’ll just be uncomfortable on the train.”

As a ‘thank you’ for being a guest, Ryan’s dads gave him a whole tray of lasagna that weighed at least ten pounds (he’s being dramatic, but it’s heavy). He wants to say yes to the ride, because it’ll be more time with Ryan. Except by car the drive is four hours one way, so he declines.

“Can’t have you waste your day like that. I’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll get lucky and have a whole cart to myself.”

Ryan nods, not pressing the matter further. And that’s just another thing to add James’s list ‘why Ryan is the best’. Alphas tend to push the issue, insisting it’s their duty to do so, but Ryan respects his boundaries.

Dammit, why does he have to be perfect?

Ryan still walks him to the platform, and waits until his train arrives. When the intercom announces 5 minutes till arrival, James turns to him. “So, see you in two weeks huh?”

“Yeah… can’t come much faster.”

James’ heart flutters, wishing Ryan was referring to him. “Home’s great and all but I’m itching to finally fly one of those MFE’s, you know?”

“Uh, sure, flying.”

_The train is arriving. Please stand behind the yellow line._

“Welp! Guess that’s me. Hug goodbye?”

He puts the lasagna down for a moment, and when he looks up Ryan has his arms wide open. James just falls into them, taking in his strength, his warmth, and his smell one last time before he departs.   

“Uh, don’t be a stranger. I mean we’ll see each other in two weeks, but I’m always on my phone, I mean, so…”

“Heh, I got you.”

When Ryan lets him go, James scrambles to pick up his food and backpack. He waves goodbye to Ryan as he boards, and notices Ryan doesn’t leave until the train does.

* * *

And after being separated for only 30 minutes, he texts him. He’s a sociable guy, sue him.

So they chat almost every waking hour after they leave, whether it’s by snapchat or texting. He tells him the lasagna was delicious, and he’ll take another sunburn if that means he gets to go swimming again.

When Ryan says _my door is always open to you_ , James saves it as a screenshot. It may look pathetic, your crush saying he’s always open for you, but he doesn’t care. He’s just grateful to have Ryan in his life.

* * *

A few days before returning to school, James comes down with a fever. His throat feels swollen, sweating despite the multiple fans pointed in his direction, and his stomach burns, like he swallowed acid.

His mom offers a doctor’s appointment, but with school so close and not wanting to miss the first day, James decides to take some over the counter medicine, and will see a the clinic closer to campus later.

His symptoms subside the day he moves back in, but instead of joining their friends at the mess hall to celebrate the new school year, he curls up in bed with a can of chicken noodle soup and a bottle of cough syrup.

“Here, this stuff is better than sodium in a can,” Ryan says, returning from the mess hall. He hands James a cup of soup, but he noticed the bag it came in says a restaurants name.

“Did you leave campus for this?”

“Yeah, the mess hall stuff looks just as bad as what you’re drinking now.”

“Dude… this was so out of your way.”

Ryan holds up his own take out. “Got something for myself too. What? I’m not going to spoil you.”

Except James feels exceptionally spoiled and he _likes_ it. His goddamn omega brain telling him he likes to be taken care of. “Yeah well, I’ll pay you back anyway.”

“It’s like three dollars.”

“Then I’ll buy you three candy bars from the vending machine.”

Ryan laughs. “Fine, fine. Reeses though.” James is about to reply but instead what comes out is a terrible coughing fit. He feels the phlegm build up in his throat and points to the trash can. Ryan brings it over, and in the nastiest way possible he spits it out.

“Ugh, god I’m so sorry. I can sleep in the nurse’s office tonight so you don’t get sick.”

Ryan shakes his head. “I don’t get sick easily.”

“Fine, it’s your funeral.”

“From the way you look, I think yours’ comes first.”

“Yeah, yeah, just plug in some earbuds" James says, pulling the trashcan to his chest, "Because I feel another one coming.”

* * *

The couch medicine is enough to suppress his coughing at night, and more medication in the day time gets him through his first few classes.

It’s not until Physical Training 2 when it really shows how sick he is. The tiniest student in their course throws him over their shoulder like a ragdoll and slams him into the mat. His friends are upside down, but he can see the wincing in Nadia and Ryan’s faces, while Ina mumbles ‘fascinating’.

After wheezing when he lands on his back, Dos Santos realizes that he’s sick. “Oh- dammit Griffin you’re dismissed. Can’t have you spreading your germs on the other cadets.”

James waves off Dos Santos. He doesn’t have enough energy to argue and instead takes his gym bag and heads back to the dorms.

He takes a long, hot shower to clear his sinuses, but once he’s back in the room he feels just as congested as before. James just finished setting up an appointment with clinic when Ryan returns. This time he has a bag from a bakery just outside the Garrison.

“For you, Mr. Phlegm and germs.” Ryan sets down a plastic container with a cutely decorated cake inside. It looks like a chocolate cake with a rose piped on.

“Aw, you’re too sweet.” He teases. “Careful now, almost like you’re trying to buy my affection.”

But Ryan blushes profusely, and James drops his teasing tone. “I mean… dude you’re already a good person so this isn’t necessarily. I’ll still eat it! I have a bit of my taste buds left anyway.”

When Ryan doesn’t reply, and just stands there dumbly, James starts to panic. “Ryan? If that was too far please tell me.”

“I...I like you.”

“I like you too that’s been established.”

“No, I mean. James. I have a _crush_ on you. Well-- more than that. What I’m saying is I like you, romantically, and this obviously isn’t the best timing, not like any time before this was better, but I was wondering if you’d like to start dating me.”

It’s the first time, ever, Ryan’s spoken so much. He’s stumbling over his words, looking at every part of the room except him and… it’s cute. James has never seen him so flustered.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You were rejecting people left and right. I just assumed you weren’t looking for a relationship.”

“ _Oh._.” Right. And… that was because of his lie.

“I… while we’re confessing everything here there’s something I need to tell you.” Ryan doesn’t move from where he stands. “Okay please sit down you’re making me nervous.”

Ryan does as told, sitting on his bed just opposite of James. His hands are clenched in his lap, waiting for James to continue.

James opens his mouth, but he finds himself falling silent.

It’s been almost a year since he was shown to be an omega, and he kept that secret so well. He doesn’t even like to talk to his moms about it.

“I… I’m…”

He feels himself shaking, and not just because of the fever. His turns cold, mouth dry, and he tears form at the edge of his eyes.  

He hears Ryan jump off his bed. When he looks up, Ryan is standing over him. His face is full of worry, unsure how to help him.

So Ryan reaches out and pats James’s head. He laughs, because he feels like a dog, but it’s a comforting gesture so he lets Ryan do it.

“I lied.” he practically whispers. “I’m not an alpha or a beta. I’ve been taking a masking pill, and I’m lying to the Garrison and you and I’m sorry but--” He lets out sob. “I’m staying on the command and piloting track. I wasn’t going to let this hold me back.”

“And it hasn’t.” Ryan says, holding him closer. “You are still in the top of our class. All of our department heads know your name. You’re amazing James.”

James manages to laugh. “An amazing liar.”

“How about an amazing actor?” Ryan says. “I really didn’t know you weren’t an alpha. And just so you know that doesn’t change my opinion of you at all. You’re probably going to take Shirogane’s record.”

“Okay, there’s flattery and then there’s lying.”

“I’m not lying.” Ryan says. This time, his hands move from his hair to his cheeks. And god, does it feel go to be cradled by his large, calloused hands. “You’re already breaking simulator records from previous students, who were _alphas ._  Hell, you came close to beating Shirogane. You’ll be the next omega star for the Garrison.”

James breath hitches at the complement. A year ago he wouldn’t have taken it so positively, because it sounded more like a political agenda.

But Ryan’s never lied to him. He’s always there, pulling him up and defending him. He doesn’t deserve Ryan’s trust, not after how long he’s lied to him.

“Alpha, beta, or omega, it doesn’t matter to me,” Ryan continues. His thumb gently caresses his cheek. “I like you James. I don’t expect an answer now, but I want you to know that you are just an amazing person, and I’m so glad I get to be by your side.”

“...yes.”

“What?”

James finally reaches out, lacing his hands with Ryan’s. “Yes, I like you too. I want to go out with you.”

“James… I don’t want you to feel pressured. You’re also still sick.”

James shakes his head. “Dude, I was trying not to oogle you when I went to your house.”

Ryan laughs. “Funny, I was trying to hold back too. You’re cute when you’re all blistered.”

“Ass.”

“And that’s what you’ll deal with if we date.”

“ _When_ we date, you mean.” James sniffles. 

Ryan leans down, pressing their foreheads together. “You’re still warm. You sure you don’t want to go to the ER or something?”

James shakes his head, leaning into Ryan. “I feel better with you here.”

“Okay… good. Would you be comfortable if I stayed in your bed tonight? I really want to be closer to you.”

“No, let’s go to your bed. Smells better.”

Ryan chuckles. “Alright, we can do that. I should go shower though. I went to the bakery right after PT.”

“Hm, don’t be long.”

Ryan’s quick, just showering enough to wipe off the dirt and sweat, and when he returns, James is already on his bed, curled up in his blankets. Ryan laughs and crawls under the blankets with him. James has his back to him, so Ryan just engulfs him, pulling James to his chest. James laughs, and unfortunately that laugh turns into another cough. But Ryan holds him through the night, and James falls asleep with a giant smile on his face.

Until the next morning.

He bolts out of bed to violently puke, and when he sees blood in his vomit he goes into full panic and begs for help. Ryan is immediately on his feet and calling for their RA.

It hurts to move, and when he pukes again his entire body burns. His vision goes blurry, and just as Ryan returns with Veronica, James blacks out.

* * *

He only wakes up because of a violent tremor in his body. James curls himself into a ball, sweating yet cold at the same time. He hears someone talk, and another blanket drapes on him. The shaking stops, and he calms down with the familiar scent. Opening one eye, James sees that it’s actually Ryan’s jacket that was on top, but Ryan isn’t there. He’s outside, talking with someone in a Garrison uniform. Panic strikes through him, because if Veronica or Ryan had to tell the Garrison what he’s been hiding-- oh the repercussions could be great.

He sobs at the thought of expulsion, when a gentle voice speaks up. “Oh, James, sweetie.” His ma coos, combing her hand through his hair to push his bangs out of his eyes.

“Mr. Griffin, how are you feeling?”

James opens his mouth, and what comes out is a raspy voice for water. His mom passes him a water bottle with a straw, and he slowly drinks it. He lies back down, this time on his back so he can face his parents and the doctor.   

“Mr. Griffin, have you been taking your suppressants?”

He manages to nod.

“We found another suppressant in your system. A masking pill? Mr. Griffin, taking both pills long term is dangerous for your system. It’s causing a hormone imbalance. Now, usually this would just result in fatigue, loss of appetite, and later down the road it could lead to autoimmune failure. “

James flinches, because he recalls the pharmacist listing the side effects and chose to ignore them. What was the point of a suppressant if it was just going to kill him?

“… but due to this violent reaction I have to ask. Are you mated? Or being courted?”

“Courted? I’m going out with Ryan.” He tells them, and he can just feel Ryan’s gaze burning on him. “But we’re not _mated_. We haven’t even kissed. I… I don’t understand…?”

“By entering a relationship, your secondary hormones are fighting against the two suppressants, throwing your body into an ever bigger imbalance. It’s fighting against the suppressants in order to maintain your relationship.”

“What?” James asks. “My body _wants_ to be mated?”

“Not necessarily,” the doctor tries to explain, “Naturally, most omegas want to be physically and emotionally connected with someone. The masking pills are a temporary solution to reduce the risk of your pheromones attracting potential mates. But when you find a mate, your body will fight to be with them, therefore counteracting mask and the suppressants.”

“Oh, so this is my fault?”

“James….” his mother tries.

“No, no see this is why I went on suppressants in the first place!” He tries to sit up, but he curls back in pain, hot tears streaming down his face. His stomach feels like it’s on fire, and it just _hurts._ “I didn’t… I didn’t want this!”

His mom holds him tightly, trying to comfort him as best as she can.

“How do we make this stop?” That voice is Ryan’s, finally speaking up after all this time. “He’s hurting, how do we stop it?”

“The fastest way is for the drugs to be flushed out of his system. Once we do that he’ll have to be off the suppressants and the mask for at least three months, so his body can naturally regulate to balance.”

No suppressants? This has to be a sick joke.

“I-- no I need them.”

“James,” his mom says, “You don’t need--”

“How do you know?” He finally snaps. “You and ma are both alphas! Everyone in this room is an alpha except me! You have no idea how much this hurts. I won’t be able to finish school--I can’t… I can’t do anything like this.”

No one says anything, but he knows they’re all staring, and he hates it. He doesn’t want to be the center of attention, not like this.

“Get out. Everyone, get the hell out!”

He ignores his mom’s sob as they all leave one by one, with Ryan being the last one. He throws Ryan’s jacket blindly, and that’s when he hears him leave.

James pulls the covers over his head and presses his face into his pillow. This is exactly what he was afraid of-- the dependency, not from his choice but from his body. An omega’s life is their physical and emotional attachment to a person, one he can’t fight with.

God, did he even _like_ Ryan, or was it just his pathetic omega biology seeking an alpha’s attention?

_You’re amazing James._

It’s not the first time he’s heard that. His teachers, his peers, everyone recognizes how hard he works to get this far, and that was before he even knew his second gender. He should be used to praises and yet when Ryan says it.

He clenches his chest, ignoring the flutter when just _thinking_ about Ryan. He has to push him out, otherwise who knows what his stupid omega DNA is going to do.

Now that everyone left, James has some breathing room. The room smells like disinfectants, the light above him hums low, and he can hear the nurse typing just right outside. No alpha pheromones either, meaning everyone has either left the hospital, or just staying as far away as possible, just as he asked.

Ryan’s scent is no longer in the room either. He must have taken his jacket when he left, and even though James was the one who threw it, he didn’t expect Ryan to take it back.

* * *

The nurses that tend to him are omegas and betas, and when his alpha doctor did return he wore some kind of mask perfume. He lets them take his vitals and tell him the next step to flushing out the drugs and get himself regulated. They give him an IV, and in a few hours and many bathroom trips it’ll be flushed out. But that’s when the worse part comes.

Since he’s never had a heat before taking the suppressants, his likelihood of one starting may be imminent.

“But I have class!” James says. “I can’t be out what, like a week to basically rut in my hand!”

The doctor isn’t phased by his outburst. “This is the only way for your body to balance out. And this should only last for three days, I’m sure the Garrison will understand a short absence.”

James bit his lips. “No, they won’t.”

The doctor just sighs. “I’m sorry. For this you won’t have to be hospitalized. It’ll be better for you if you have your heat in a familiar environment, possibly your home or with your mate.”

“Whoa, Ryan is not my _mate_.” Because he’s sure he ruined that relationship. “I said we barely started going out, I’m not making him sit through my heat.”

“Don’t you think Ryan should decide that for himself?”

James eyes widen as Captain Shirogane stands by the doorway. The doctor looks between them before making his exit. “I’ll start the release papers for you Mr. Griffin.”

Shirogane steps in, closing the curtain for extra privacy.

James salutes him, but Shirogane shakes his head. “At ease cadet. How are you feeling?”

“Somewhere between nauseated and wanting to die.”

Shirogane chuckles. “Yeah, I remembering feeling like that too. May I?” He asks, gesturing to the bed.

James nods, pulling his legs to his chest so his Captain can sit down. “Sir… I’m so sorry...”

“Don’t be.” Shirogane says. “I get it.”

“You do?”

“More than you realize. James, you aren’t the only cadet hiding their second gender. Although, you did it better than most, hell better than me when I was your age.”

“Wait, _you_ hid as well? But you’re like, the Garrison poster boy.”

Shirogane laughs at that. “Oh trust me, the second I broke every record in the book the Garrison capitalized on my success. The ‘Alpha/Omega’ they said, because I surpassed every Alpha and their grandparents. But in my first year, I hid I was an omega too. I knew how much tougher my journey would be into the piloting course if they found out.”

“...why did you come out?”

“Hiding was tough, and as the doctor said the two types of suppressants made me sick. I wanted to break every record in the book, and fainting in PT or throwing up in the simulator wasn’t going to get me far. When I showed I was an omega, trust me when I say the other Lieutenants and Captains were not easy on me. I think they were angrier that I hid though.”

“So how did you do it?” James asks.

“Lot of extra hours in the simulator, studying up all night, everything you’re doing now. Even when I flew in the MFE’s for the first time, everyone thought I cheated. But over time they realized an omega can accomplish just as much as an alpha, and you’re in that direction too. A lot of omegas are, actually. And you’d think I helped paved the way but in actuality… I think they’re doing that to meet some kind of quota, equality with omegas and all.”

James wraps his arms around his knees. “You’re amazing Captain. To do this all on your own…”

Shirogane shakes his head. “I wasn’t alone. And I know it sounds like mating propaganda, but having people around you does help. And I don’t mean romantically. My best friend, Matt, was a beta, but he stuck through my heats, and pushed me to fight when every single Lieutenant told me to give up.”

“You weren’t in a relationship?” James asks. Shirogane’s face falls, saddened by the question. “I’m sorry Sir, that was inappropriate of me to ask.”

“No, this is important. I’ll admit it was… hard, without him, I mean. We were together in high school, but by my third year at the Garrison we ended our relationship. I was only lucky in that we weren’t mated, otherwise the separation may have been worse. I can see now that the break up was for the best, but that’s what I mean about having people around you. To rely only on one person would have been my downfall, but I had Matt, and then his girlfriend Allura came into my life too. Platonic bonds exists, and I think they’re just as strong as romantic ones.

“Just know any sort of bond will not hold you back. You’re allowed to open up and let them in.”

He thinks about Ryan’s encouragements, and how he loves to hang around with Nadia and Ina. He thinks about the packs of omegas and betas on campus, and why they all stick together. Looking at his group of friends...or acquaintances really, he hasn’t attempted to really form a some kind of bond.

Not even with Ryan. They were practically attached at the hip at the end of their first year, but as far as he can tell, they never established a bond of some sort.  

“How do you know… if what you’re forming isn’t because of our biology, that it’s what we _want_?”

Shirogane looks at the curtain, and then whispers, “Between you and me, I think this ‘biological reason’ is all bullshit.” James is taken back, never hearing his Captain curse before, “Yes, we have heats, and obviously we can’t help by be comforted by smell, but at the end of the day it’s _your_ choice who you want to be with, biology be damned. You wouldn’t be comfortable with some random alpha’s scent, would you?”

“No, I guess not.” In fact, most alphas at the Garrison didn’t do much for him, either too predatory or just gross.

“So I think you can trust your judgement more than you already do. It’s your decisions that got you top of the class, right? Then it’s your decision who you want to be with.” Shirogane stands up, putting his hand on James’s shoulder. “Think about what feels right, and then go for it. I’ll see you in a few days, cadet. We can talk about how you’ll make up the work then.”

And just before he leaves the room. “Also, Ryan came to me, right after you were hospitalized. Don’t be too mad at him, I get he pushed a boundary, and I won’t say he did this for your own good, but know you already have people on your side. It doesn’t hurt to have some help.”

With that, Shirogane salutes him, and James returns it. When his Captain is finally gone, James collapses back into his pillows and takes a deep breath.

Think about what feels right, huh?

He knows what feels right, he just has to fix it before it’s too late.

* * *

“James, are you sure you don’t want to come home?” His Ma asks as they leave the hospital. “You know you’re always welcomed there.”

His shoulders slump with guilt, so just before they make it to the car he hugs them both. “I’m sorry, for earlier.”

“Honey,” his mom says, kissing his head. “We know you didn’t mean it, but it is true we weren’t sure how you felt. Just know, no matter what happens, you can always come back to us.” She tilts his chin up so he has to look at her. “No shame, okay mister?”

“No shame.” He promises.

He gets back to the Garrison that evening, but beforehand he stops by a diner and orders take out. Food is a good olive branch among friends, right? And it’s fair repayment since Ryan bought dinner for him since coming back.

Though his walk through the base and dorms are quiet, he feels everyone looking at him. Maybe they can all smell him now since the detox. Will class be the same way? What about the lieutenants who aren’t as understanding as Shirogane?

James takes a deep breath. One situation at a time.

He slides his ID card to his room, and the door opens.

Ryan’s at his desk, reading a textbook when he looks up. “James.” He says, immediately standing up.

James closes the door and holds out the take out. “Hey, I uh, got some food for us. I mean if you already ate then it can be for breakfast, but it’s just a roast melt if that’s okay.”

His roommate only looks confused. “Uh, yeah that’s fine. What are you doing back here? Why did they release you?”

“They said my heat would be easier to get through if I was in a familiar environment. And you can tell me to go home if you’re uncomfortable, but I rather have it here.”

“James,” Ryan starts. “I’m so sorry, for telling Shirogane. But the second you were in the ambulance I panicked, because I know how much you wanted to be in his course. And he seems like the one to understand, but I’m sorry for outing you like that.”

James smiles, and already he knows his decision was correct. “I’m not mad. You… thank you actually. Shirogane talked to me, and he said I can make up my missed days.”

“Oh, that’s really good. But James, I don’t want you to force you into something you’re not ready for. I can stay with Kogane for the next few days--”

“Whoa, why _Kogane_ of all people?!” James practically shrieks.

“Something about his roommate getting an internship off planet? He’ll get a new roommate soon but he has a spare bed so I can crash there for a bit.”

Pouting, James shoves the food in Ryan’s hands. “First of all, if you ever go to Kogane for anything I’ll never forgive you.” With that Ryan just smiles. “Second, listen to me first. I have something to say.”

“I’m all ears.” Ryan just sets the food down on his desk, and then takes a seat.

James exhales.  “You are _not_ forcing me into anything, okay? I took some time to think about it, and my feelings for you have jack shit to do with our biology. I like _you_ Ryan, and if you’ll still have me, I would like to cry and have my first heat in this room.”

It’s quiet for a moment, making James think that he really, really could have worded that last part better, even if they were his true feelings.

But then Ryan laughs, full on laughs because he covers his mouth and clutches his stomach. He’s never seen him laugh like this before, but from his smile and tears forming he can only home it’s a good laugh.

“God, you’re amazing James.”

“Heh, careful, you’re just feeding into my ego.”

“I know. Can I hug you?”

“Idiot, don’t ask.” James says, stepping closer to Ryan. Before Ryan can stand up James promptly plants himself in Ryan’s lap, and wraps his arms around his neck. Ryan freezes for a moment, shocked by James’s initiation, before holding him by his waist.

James blushes, the smell of Ryan overwhelming him. It’s a good smell though, as he feels safer already being in his arms.

“I’ll always ask you,” Ryan says, “I don’t want to push boundaries. I still feel bad for talking to Shirogane.”

“And I already said I’m not mad.” James says. “But thank you. This is why I like you.”

When the chair becomes uncomfortable, he carries them back to his bed and wraps him up.

Without words, Ryan sets up the bed to prepare for his heat. James changes into one of Ryan’s shirts and pair of boxers. Ryan leaves for the vending machines, just to get some water bottles for later, and when he feels prepared enough, he slips into bed with James.

“Your fever’s gone down.” Ryan says when he presses their foreheads together.

“Yeah, the detox wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.”

He feels Ryan’s hand slide to his hips, so James scoots as close as possible, so that their chests are touching. “Just say the word, and I’ll be here, okay?”

“Hm… if you skip class tomorrow I’ll hurt you. I need notes.”

Ryan laughs. “Fine, but I’ll have my comm on me at all times.”

They fall asleep not long after that. One moment at a time, James thinks. He fixed one relationship, and he can move on from there.

* * *

His heat doesn’t hit right away.  

He wakes up that morning, groggy and fatigued, but not nauseated like before. He almost thinks he has enough energy to go to class when Ryan touches his forehead. “You’re warm… not like before though. A different kind of warm.”

“Huh, I thought it’d hurt more.” James says. He’s seen some of his classmates go through a heat in the middle of class-- sometimes it looks like they’ve been punched and kicked in the gut.

“Let’s hope for you it doesn’t.” Ryan says. “Want me to wait it out with you?”

James shakes his head. “No. Class, shoo.”

“Fine _mom._ ” Ryan smirks, and James throws a loose sock at him. “I’ll be back by 1600.”

“I’ll be here.” James deadpans. Ryan reaches for him, and kisses his forehead right before he leaves.

For the next hour or so James lets the thought ‘huh, this isn’t so bad’ slip by because after his suppressants fucking up his system, this almost feels like a walk in the park.

By noon, however, it fully kicks in. He wakes up from a nap, thinking he embarrassingly wet Ryan’s bed when he sees it’s his own slick. He drenched Ryan’s shirt in sweat, and washing the stains out of his sheets is going to be a nightmare.

Just thinking about Ryan makes James blush, and more slick drips from his aching hole. Dammit, he’s also very hard, and he knows just a regular jerk off isn’t going to solve this fast enough.

Ryan left his jacket behind, so James brings it to his nose and just takes it all in. He smells the mint soap Ryan uses to wash himself, as well as his natural musky scent.

James brings one hand down to his boxers and tugs them off. Rolling on his back and spreading his legs, James reaches down and thrusts one finger. It’s so loose it’s mortifying, really, how much his body wants to get fucked and bred.

James whimpers into the jacket as he works himself to satisfaction with two fingers. He goes fast, until he cums on the sheets. His body doesn’t seem to be done yet, because soon enough he’s hard again and aching for more.

James only sighs. It’s going to be a long three days.

* * *

_Sorry._

Ryan frowns at the text message, and he tries not to panic at how cryptic it sounds until--

_Your sheets are fucked. I’ll buy you new ones and I’m sure it smells gross in here._

He sighs and falls back in his seat, relieved he didn’t do anything to fuck things up with James.

_It’s fine_ , he texts, _I have spares. How are you doing?_

_Could be better. Stop texting me. Pay attention. If your notes aren’t detailed I’m going to scold you._

Chuckling, Ryan slips his phone in his pocket and returns to Shirogane’s lecture. He looks at the clock-- one more hour of class left, then he’s free to go. He should pick up food and more water in the mess hall, because if he remembered anything in sex ed it’s that omegas get very hungry while in heat. Wait… or were those alphas?

Frowning, he quickly searches his question yielding to little results. Apparently anyone can feel hungry when in heat or affected by someone’s heat. Well, they’ll need food anyway, so he mentally makes note to pick that up, and then they can rent a movie to try and distract themselves.

When the lecture ends, Ryan bee lines to the mess hall, and then straight to their room. He feels bad, lying to Nadia and Ina, but when James is ready, they’ll them them the truth.

As an alpha, Ryan can easily smell an omega’s heat nearby, but going down the halls of the dorm he realized how thick the walls are. If someone was going through their heat, he couldn’t tell unless the door opened.

And when he opened the door to their room, and overwhelming stench of sweat and slick engulfed him.

Ryan quickly closes their door and made his way to his bed. James is under the covers as a lump. “Hey, James? Are you okay?” James pulls the sheets over his body and grumbles. “I...maybe I should stay with--”

“I swear if you say his name I’ll rip your dick out with my teeth!”

That breaks all tension in Ryan, who just laughs. “Okay, okay. But you weren’t kidding. It smells…” _good_ “...strong.”

James peeks his head from the blankets, his face is completely red. “I uh… yeah it’s a lot. Sorry. Just get pack an overnight bag. I don’t want you to be distracted from your homework.”

“Yeah, uh, good point.” Ryan coughs as he opens his dresser, taking enough clothes for the next two days. He really thought he could handle it, but it’s like he’s smelling James in his raw form. It’s powerful and sweet, and Ryan just wants a taste.

But he won’t do that, especially not like this. An unclaimed omega in heat essentially cannot consent, because it’s just a biological response.

When he hears James whimper, however, his attention is immediately back on him. “James? Are you okay?”

“Ignore me!” James says, “It’s… oh god this is so embarrassing.”

“I uh… wouldn’t know… But I’ll be out of your hair soon--.”

“Actually.... Do you think you can help me out?”

Ryan frowns. “James, it’s your heat talking. I said I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” James reassures, popping out of the blankets. “And trust me, I’m consenting.”

“I can’t accept that.” Ryan says. “And even if I did, I don’t have condoms. We can’t risk--”

“I’m not… necessarily talking about sex. And please, I’ve been masturbating to your jacket this entire time and I will also pay for drycleaning; I just need something more.”

James finally exposed himself from the covers and Ryan’s breath hitched. James was completely naked, saved for his jacket that he wrapped himself in. His sheets are drenched with sweat and dried slick, but James’s cock is red hard with pre-cum coming out.

James spreads his legs, showing how wet his hole is, and he dips in two fingers in to show just how loose he is-- and oh god Ryan wants to go between his legs and lick it all up.

“J-James… I…”

“ _Please_ ,” James moans, “Just use your fingers, they’re thicker than mine. But I need it from _you._ ”

Ryan swallows nervously. “If after this, you change your mind. Report me, okay? I’m supposed to have better control than this.”

“Report?! Dude put your fingers in me, this is me explicitly asking to be finger fucked and nothing more--” James pushes his fingers in more and his back arches, “We don’t have condoms, so fingers only okay? _Please,_ I don’t know how much more consent I can give!”

Biting his lips, Ryan drops his duffle bag and crawls onto the bed. James scrambles to get as close as possible, and with some maneuvering Ryan finds his back to the wall, and James between his legs, back to Ryan's chest. James still has his legs spread out, and he blindly takes Ryan’s hand and leads him to his opening.

Ryan easily slides in, slick heat dripping down to the sheets. James arches his back and moans loud. He shoots a look at Ryan, one full of mischief, and Ryan realizes James over acting just for him.

“God James…”

“What? You feel so good…” James balances himself by holding onto Ryan’s raised knees, and then pushes himself on his fingers. “Oh yeah, this is--ahh-- this is so much better.”

Ryan kisses the back of his neck, using all of his strength to not bite down on his scent gland, and instead lets James use his fingers for his own pleasure. The wet noises they make together only stir a reaction in him, feeling his erection strain against his pants. He only hopes James doesn’t notice.

He does, of course, because they’re sitting so close to each other he’s bound to feel it somehow.

“Hnng... okay, next time I swear, I’ll sit on _that_ instead.”

“D-don’t say that!” He isn’t sure how much longer he can hold off before he takes control and fingers James himself, that or cum in his pants like a teenager.

“Touch me more Ryan,” James says, “Please, I want to cum from you.”

That he can do, so he takes his other hand and wraps it around James’s cock.

It doesn’t help James thrusts into his hand, while somehow rolling his hips over his fingers. He’s taking as much pleasure that Ryan can give him, and it only turns on Ryan more.

Ryan licks a stripe of sweat from the back of James’s neck, and James lets out a breathy laugh. “Yes, oh yes, next time-- ahh! Next time… want your tongue between me.”

Ryan all but growls, something he rarely does.

“Ahh, hnng, you’d like that huh? Eating me out till you’re sloping wet with my slick?”

“James…” Ryan pushes a third finger in, and James smiles, happy with how full he is.

“Yes, yes more. Ryan please! I’m so close!”

He pushes as far as possible, and soon enough James comes with a shout, staining his sheets.

James pants hard, finally coming down from his high and slumps into Ryan’s arms. But he doesn’t have time to rest, when James’s ass presses aganist his erection.

“Oh, did I do that?” He teases.

“Jerk.” Ryan says, kissing his cheek. “Move, I should take care of this.”

“I could help.” James offers.

James still looks flushed, pupils dilated and ready for another round. As much as Ryan would like to see those pink lips wrapped around his cock, he shakes his head. “I’m… not sure how much more I can hold back.”

“Oh…” James says, obviously disappointed in his answer. “Uh, yeah… that’s fair. But will you come back after? I’m not sure how, but I feeling better than earlier.”

“We’ll see how the night goes, hm? I’ll just, be right back…”

Jerking off in the dorm bathroom is not something Ryan wanted to do, ever, having to share it with other students and he’s unsure how clean the bathroom actually is. But he finishes quickly, because that’s just how much of an affect James has on him.

When he gets back, James already has a fresh shirt on, and he balls up the sheets and tosses it in the hamper. He looks better than before, saved for the flushed skin. Ryan goes into his closet and tosses James his other set of sheets. “I’ll wash these real quick.” He tells him. James gives him his student ID card, which is filled with money for the laundry machine.

Once everything is in the wash, Ryan finally re-heats their dinner. Just soup and bread for James again, just in case his stomach still can’t handle anything heavy. He sits at his desk while James stays on the bed, curled up in the blankets.

“Want me to put something on?” Ryan asks, but James shakes his head.

“You have homework, you should finish that.”

“It’s just a reading, I can do it in the morning.”

James pouts. “Do it now, sleep in tomorrow.” He pats one side of the bed. “Come on, you can read your book and I’ll copy your notes. I’m not falling behind.”

Ryan chuckles, giving into his demands. It’s not long before James falls asleep on his shoulder, so he tucks him in and then finishes the reading on his desk. From the looks of it, though James is feeling a lot better. He just can’t wait for him to come back to class.

* * *

The next two days of his heat repeats like this: Wake up with mild discomfort, fingers himself until Ryan returns in the afternoon so he can finish him off, and then a cool down period so he can eat and re-hydrate. Ryan walks in and out of their room to clean their sheets, and at the end of the night, he holds James like he’s the most precious thing in the universe.

Honestly? He’s spoiled as hell with this man.

The morning of the fourth day James finally feels back to normal. His skin isn’t burning, he stopped _dripping_ all over the damn place, and now he can look at his boyfriend without wanting to stick his ass in the air.

_Boyfriend_ he thinks. Yeah, that’s what they are.

They get ready for the day, with James taking extra precautions to look ready. Shower, shaven, and a pressed uniform, like it was his first day of the academy.

Ryan doesn’t care so much for formality, because his jacket is sort of crumpled and he said he’ll shave when he feels like it. James likes the bit of scruff on him anyway.

“You look good.” Ryan says. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

There’s only so much he can do to _look_ ready, but to feel it is another story. Now that he’s off the suppressants, everyone on campus will smell him.

And boy, is he the center of attention.

Just walking from the dorm halls to the main building goes with notice. From the maintenance staff, faculty, and especially other cadets, everyone stares and smells the air. Omega, and omega just in heat, James Griffin is an omega and unmarked.

He hears the growls of alphas, but then looks up to see that one of those growls came from Ryan, directed at the other alphas.

Ryan cleared his throat and turned away, embarrassed.

“I forgive you.” James just says, and Ryan just hides his face in his hands. “Just don’t go ripping out throats anytime soon.”

Ryan leads him to the front seat of Shirogane’s class. He sits between Nadia and Ryan, while Ina is at the end of the row next to Nadia. Nadia gives him a bright smile. “Good to see ya space cowboy.”

“Good to see you too.” He says. “Um, can we talk, all of us? After class?”

“Of course.” Nadia says, and Ina nods. He’s sure they already know what he wants to say, but they don’t push it further.  

The class quickly fills, but James doesn’t scrunch his nose till Kogane walks in. Kogane just raises an eyebrow, then after a moment. “Ah.”

James rolls his eyes. “What?”

“Nothing. You smell nice, that’s all.”

“Yeah? Well too bad for you, I’m taken.” James says, scooting closer to Ryan.

Ryan looks at Kogane, and Kogane just stares back. Nadia and Ina stare at each other, then at James, and then at the other two alphas.

“I’m happy for you two.” Is all Kogane says before ascending the staircase to find his seat.

“Ugh, what a dick.” James pouts, crossing his arms.

Ryan just sighs, but he pats James’ thigh. Nadia covers her mouth and tries to stifle a laugh.

“Good morning class.” Captain Shirogane announces as he walks into the classroom. “We will be moving to the simulation room in just a few minutes, please turn in your homework and we an get going.” Shirogane looks to the class to take attendance, and when his eyes land on James, he gives him a small nod and a smile. James returns the smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please talk GriffKink to me on [twitter ](https://twitter.com/Das_Hazel)


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